Why Pet Grief Is So Hurtful – And 12 Ways To Overcome It
Sometimes, it hurts more than a human death. Here’s why pet grief is so painful – and how you can deal with it
By Diane Small
A touching new TikTok trend known as “soulmated so hard” is resonating with pet owners across the globe, as they share heartfelt tributes to beloved animals who have passed away. This viral moment is sparking deeper conversations about a kind of grief that’s often overlooked or invalidated. Namely, mourning the death of a pet.
Dr. Aimee Warner, veterinarian at Waggel, says the emotional response isn’t surprising:
“Every day in my clinic, I see how strong the bonds between people and their pets really are. These relationships are filled with deep affection and mutual trust, so it makes perfect sense that losing a pet brings profound grief. It’s a form of loss that deserves the same recognition and support as any other.”
The trend has brought new attention to what psychologists refer to as disenfranchised grief—a type of loss that society tends not to openly acknowledge. For many pet owners, this means grieving in silence, feeling misunderstood, or even judged for mourning “just an animal.”
Why is grieving a pet so painful?
According to Dr. Warner, the nature of the human-animal connection plays a big role:
“What pets offer is truly unique—unwavering love, constant companionship, and a judgment-free presence. They become part of our everyday lives, from morning routines to evening cuddles. When they’re no longer there, the emotional and practical void is huge.”
Unlike many human relationships, bonds with pets are typically free from complications or emotional baggage, which can make the grief feel even more raw and unfiltered.
Do animals experience grief too?
While pet owners come to terms with loss, their surviving pets may also show signs of emotional distress. Dr. Warner explains:
“I often treat animals who seem to be mourning the loss of another pet. They may eat less, sleep more—or less—seem withdrawn, or even act out. Some pets search the house for their lost dog, cat or even bird friend, while others lose interest in their usual activities.”
She outlines several behaviours that might indicate a pet is grieving:
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Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
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Restlessness or unusually quiet behaviour
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Searching or waiting near doors
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Loss of interest in toys or playtime
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Becoming clingier or more withdrawn from the family
Helping pets cope with loss
When a pet is grieving, she suggests:
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Keeping daily routines as consistent as possible
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Offering extra love, comfort, and reassurance
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Watching for any major changes in behaviour or mood
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Being patient as they slowly adjust to life without their companion
As Dr. Warner wisely puts it: “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” Whether it’s a person mourning a beloved animal or a pet missing a furry friend, both forms of loss deserve compassion and care.
How to Cope With Pet Grief: 12 Gentle Tips for Healing
Grieving the loss of a pet can be one of life’s most heart-wrenching experiences.
Pet grief is real, deeply felt, and often underestimated by those who haven’t experienced it. While healing looks different for everyone, these thoughtful, compassionate tips can help you move through the mourning process with care.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel the Full Weight of Pet Grief
Don’t rush the emotions that come with losing a beloved animal. Pet grief is valid and deserves space. Whether you’re feeling sadness, guilt, numbness, or anger, these are all natural responses to losing a cherished companion.
2. Create a Meaningful Memorial or Tribute
Honour your pet’s memory in a personal way. This might involve planting a tree, creating a shadow box with their collar and photos, or setting up a small altar at home. Memorials help give shape to pet grief and allow room for remembrance.
3. Write a Letter to Your Pet
Putting feelings into words can offer release. Many grieving pet owners write letters to their animals, expressing love, gratitude, or simply reflecting on shared moments. This ritual can transform unresolved emotions into peace.
4. Talk About Your Pet Grief Openly
Seek out people who understand the depth of the bond you shared. Whether through friends, family, or online pet grief support groups (Facebook has some good ones), sharing your experience helps reduce feelings of isolation and validates your loss.
5. Help Children Process Their Pet Grief Too
If children are part of your family, involve them in age-appropriate ways. Explain death honestly and compassionately, and let them create drawings, write messages, or say goodbye in their own way. Their pet grief is just as significant.
6. Join a Pet Grief Support Group or Seek Therapy
When pet grief feels overwhelming or prolonged, talking to a professional can help. Some therapists specialise in grief counselling for pet loss, and many online communities offer 24/7 understanding and solidarity.
7. Celebrate Their Life, Not Just the Loss
Focusing on joyful memories can soften the sting of loss. Compile your favourite photos, recount stories that made you laugh, or create a tribute video. Shifting the focus from death to life helps you reframe pet grief through gratitude.
8. Keep Daily Routines Where Possible
Structure can offer comfort during times of emotional upheaval. Keeping up with walks, mealtimes, or rituals—even if you don’t feel up to it—can help you gently regain a sense of stability through your pet grief.
9. Use Creative Outlets to Express Your Pet Grief
Drawing, painting, journaling, or crafting can be deeply therapeutic. Many grieving pet parents design keepsakes like custom jewelry, pet portraits, or even get a commemorative tattoo—tangible expressions of their ongoing bond.
10. Don’t Feel Pressured to “Replace” Your Pet
Pet grief is personal, and healing takes time. If or when you’re ready to welcome another animal into your life, do so when it feels right—not because you feel you should. Every pet is unique, and your grief honours that bond.
11. Consult a Pet Psychic
Yes, there are actually animal communicators who specialise in pet grief. If you believe in the supernatural, it can be very comforting to get a message from the ‘other side’. And some pet psychics are remarkable – they will tell you things about your pet only you knew. Karen A Anderson is one of the best known, but there are many others, too.
12. Keep Something – Maybe
If there’s something that reminds you of your pet and you find it brings you comfort, keep it. Be it a collar, a toy, or even a clump of fur. But you may want to put it aside for a bit if the pain of remembering is too much. Once you start to heal, such little objects may bring you fond memories of a friend you never want to forget.
It’s okay to grieve deeply. Honour your pet’s memory in whatever way feels right—whether that’s through a photo collage, planting a tree in their name, or simply talking with friends who understand. Don’t let others dismiss what you’re feeling.
“Losing a pet is the loss of a relationship, a presence, and a piece of your daily life,” says Dr. Warner. “That kind of love deserves to be mourned, not rushed.”
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